Song for a Fifth Child

I've read this poem by Ruth Hulburt Hamilton several times since having a baby, but sometimes I need to re-read it to remind myself of what's really important. Thought I would post it for all of you to enjoy as well.

Mother, oh Mother, come shake out your cloth,

Empty the dustpan, poison the moth,

Hang out the washing and butter the bread,

Sew on a button and make up a bed.

Where is the mother whose house is so shocking?

She’s up in the nursery, blissfully rocking.

Oh, I’ve grown shiftless as Little Boy Blue

(Lullaby, rockaby, lullaby loo).

Dishes are waiting and bills are past due

(Pat-a-cake, darling, and peek, peekaboo).

The shopping’s not done and there’s nothing for stew

And out in the yard there’s a hullabaloo

But I’m playing Kanga and this is my Roo.

Look! Aren’t her eyes the most wonderful hue?

(Lullaby, rockaby, lullaby loo).

The cleaning and scrubbing will wait till tomorrow,

For children grow up, as I’ve learned to my sorrow.

So quiet down, cobwebs. Dust go to sleep.

I’m rocking my baby and babies don’t keep.

A Child's Environment....

Here is another excerpt from Michael Olaf's The Joyful Child: Montessori from Birth to Three....

General Environment Principles
Here are some things to keep in mind when organizing a child's environment.

(1) Participation in Family Life: Even from the very first days invite the child into the life of the family. In each room—the bedroom, kitchen, dining room, living room, front hall, and so forth have a mobile for the infant, or a basket or shelves for the young child, to store the few carefully chosen belongings, and a special mat or rug for him to "work" on developing abilities.

(2) Independence: The child's message to us at any age is "Help me to do it myself." Supporting this need shows respect for and faith in the child. Think carefully about family activities in all areas of the home, and arrange each space to support independence. A twin mattress for the child's bed; clothing cubby, coat tree, or low clothing rod or hook wherever the child dresses or undresses (front hall, bathroom, bedroom, etc.); a stool or bench for removing shoes and boots; inviting shelves for books, dishes, toys.

(3) Belongings: This brings up a very important point. It is too much for anyone to care for or enjoy belongings when there are too many out at one time. In preparing the home environment for a child, have a place to keep clothing, toys, and books that are not being used. Rotate these when you see the child tiring of what is out on the shelf, in the book display, or toy basket. Have just a few pieces of clothing available to the child to choose what to wear each day, just a few toys that are enjoyed, and only a few favorite or new books to look at.

(4) Putting Away & The Sense of Order: "Discipline" comes from the same word as "disciple" and our children become disciplined only by imitating us; just as we teach manners such as saying "thank you" by modeling this for our children instead of reminding, we can teach them to put away their books and toys only by gracefully and cheerfully doing it over and over in their presence.

People are always amazed at how neat and beautiful a good Montessori class appears. This is not because the teacher is imposing her own order on the child, but because she is satisfying the strong sense of order of the child.

Half a year later, continued....

OK, I promised an update after our well-baby check up and family photos, so here it is!! Sean is now 18 lbs. 15 oz. (75%) and 27.5 inches long (80%). Dr. Bailey has no concerns about him whatsoever- he says if my kid wants to continue eating 7-8 oz of solids plus 4-6 oz of formula at each meal then keep doing what we are doing LOL!! I was worried I was overfeeding him, haha! But this kid sure knows how to put some food away, so I guess it's a good thing.

His third tooth has started to show since the 29th, so unfortunately we have had a few rough nights over the last few days. He is usually very good about putting himself to sleep, especially at nighttime. But for the last few weeks he has been waking at odd hours (there is no real pattern to it, sometimes it's as early as 11:30pm, other nights it's at 1 or 2 am) and having a hard time going back to sleep. He still goes to bed about 8pm after our daily walk and bath time, and he is taking 2-4 naps a day. Usually it's 2 or 3 naps, 1.5-2.5 hours long each, but on days where he wakes up super early and doesn't nap longer than 1 hour at a time, he can take as many as 4 naps in one day. This is pretty rare though.

He loves the exersaucer still, and sometimes he enjoys his swing, but not as much for napping in anymore. I usually put him in it around 5 pm when he is starting to get grumpy but it's too late in the day for him to really nap before bedtime. It's nice because it mellows him out a little. We have pretty much retired the vibrating bouncer chair, and the bumbo. But they are nice to have because Sean has so many of his other baby friends who are right behind him, so they can use those things when they come over to our house! His favorite thing to do right now is rolling around on the living room floor, and practicing his "push ups." He really, really wants to be mobile, but can't quite figure out how to put it all together quite yet. He loves to hold his own bottle now, he really doesn't want me helping him anymore LOL. And I can tell that he understands a few of the signs we have been using with him, but doesn't show any interest in mimicking them yet. For example, when he is grumpy right after he wakes from a nap, I'll ask him if he wants some milk, and use the sign. He stops fussing right away, looks at my hands signing, and then looks into the kitchen, like "what are you waiting for?" It's pretty neat. The idea of "more" is a little more complex so I don't think he understands that one yet. And I am almost positive his first sign will be "dog" because he just loves watching our dogs so much!

Playing with his favorite dog Jax

Doing pushups- he wants to crawl so bad!!

Momma gave him some freedom and let him play with breakfast : )

Sean's hair is getting longer... so we tried to do a mohawk at bath time : )

Sleeping like an angel at nap time...

He loves to hold the bottle by himself now

Big boy : D

These are Sean's official 6 Month photos at Sears, and we got a few family shots as well...

Montessori before the age of 2....

As many of you know, I taught Montessori preschool (ages 2.5-6) in Washington for about 5 years before moving to Louisiana. Long story short, I have not officially gotten back into it since moving here, but the thought crosses my mind every day. Working with children is definitely my "calling" and I guess I thought that since Montessori only goes so far in infancy that I would look into returning to that line of work once Sean was old enough to go to school for it.

Well this website The Joyful Child has proved me wrong. It is all about Montessori in infants and toddlers, and has a lot of very interesting concepts. I plan on researching this more, and implementing what I can into our house as Sean is growing up.

Today I wanted to re-post one part of an article I found particularly interesting. Enjoy : )

The Child's Research
Some people call the search for limits "testing," but there is negative connotation to this word. When a child is trying to learn the rules and procedures of the society in which she lives this is a very positive undertaking. It is actually important research.

A good example is the question "What is the meaning of the word 'No'?" I remember an incident in our home between a good friend and her two-year-old daughter, Julia. The two-year-old had climbed up on the piano bench and was reaching for a bust of Mozart kept on the piano. As she reached toward it she looked expectantly at her mother, obviously for some kind of a response. The mother said "No, don't touch it." Julia stopped, lowered her hand and then reached toward it again. The mother said "No" again, a little louder. Again the daughter reached and looked at her mother. This happened several times with no resolution.

I watched this communication, and the confusion on both sides, and offered the suggestion "I don't think she knows what 'No' means and is trying to find out".
The mother laughed and said "Of course." Then she went to Julia, said "No," gently, and, as she said it, picked Julia up and moved her across the room to a pile of building blocks. Both were completely satisfied.

In the first exchange perhaps the child thought "No" meant "I am waiting and looking and expect you to eventually pick up that statue. And I am getting mad at you."
In the second exchange the message was clear. "No" meant "stop doing what you are doing and move away to another part of the room or another activity," (and, thanks to the clear and gentle way of speaking, "I am not mad at you").

Children do not understand the language of reasoning until around age six. They need clear demonstrations along with words.
It is very helpful for parents to realize that their child is not trying to be bad, but she is being a normal, intelligent human being trying to find out how to behave. She is carrying out research.

Half a year later....

So it's been 6 months since our sweet baby boy came into this world. I have been driving myself crazy thinking about how quickly he is growing up. After sifting through other friends' Facebook pages and seeing their babies that were born the same time I was pregnant, seeing how small they were then and how big they are now, there is a bittersweet feeling I get, thinking about our baby Sean being there as well.

I will be posing again sometime in the beginning of August- we are getting family pictures done tomorrow, and Sean's 6 month well check with Dr. Bailey is on August 2nd, so I will be doing an update to include those things.

But for now, here is a little bit about life as it is for us these days.... Mike has been working offshore some, and in the shop some as well. He is waiting for a salary position to open up still, he would really prefer to be at home every night. But for now, since shop-rate doesn't pay the bills, he is still taking offshore jobs when they are available, and working in the shop in between. Sometimes I feel guilty for not working, because I could be bringing in a second income. But then Mike reminds me that me staying at home with Sean is an income in itself, considering we are saving that much on childcare. Plus we both like the idea of him being home with me, and socializing with our friends at this age, rather than being in daycare. As he gets older I plan to enroll him in other social environments like preschool so he can learn to be with groups of children his age. We would only put him in daycare right now in order for me to go back to work.... I have been daydreaming daily about starting my own business of in-home preschool. It's something I will probably not act on anytime soon, but it's a dream I have always had since first going to Montessori training, and I am hoping one day I will have the means to do so.

Sean has been developing faster than I can keep up with! He just recently started to show obvious signs of understanding familiar and unfamiliar people. He used to just smile at anybody, and not even notice much if my face was not in sight when we are out in public places. But lately I have noticed if we are grocery shopping, he needs to know I am close if my face is out of his view, and when new people come over to the house, he takes a minute or two to warm up to them, whereas he quickly lights up when he sees Mike, Katie, Josh, Dan, etc. He is VERY vocal now, trying out all kinds of new noises and sounds. But he seems to be super sensitive to loud noises himself- he almost always cries when someone sneezes or coughs loudly or starts getting too loud when they talk. He can sit up very well on his own now. He just needs to master the concept of "catching" himself when he flops sideways and backwards. I usually put the boppy behind him, or sit behind him, because when he is sick of sitting up he throws himself back to laying down, which can result in bumping his head if he's not on the bed LOL. No signs of crawling yet, but he is VERY mobile in his crib. He will roll back and forth over and over again, and use his feet to push off and move from one end of the crib to the other. He actually sleeps on his belly now- there is no stopping it!! But he is sleeping pretty well and naps and bedtime, and is not shy to "ask" when he needs something, so it works out well. He is also really coordinated with his hands now- he can find his paci in his crib and put it back into his mouth successfully, and easily moves objects from one hand to the other. We started signing a few words to him, hoping in the next few months he will be able to sign back. So far we have started teaching "more," "eat," "milk," "all done," and today I introduced "dog" because he is so enthralled with our dogs : ) I am trying to consistently sign each time I use the word. But it is tricky- words like "more" use two hands. And I usually use that while he is eating. Well, I can't put his bowl on his highchair because he will immediately grab it and flip it over! And when I set it on the table next to me while he eats and use both of my hands to sign, sometimes he is so impatient that extra millisecond it takes me to pick the spoon back up can be frustrating LOL But we just started this about a week ago, so there is a lot of time to work on it. I am hoping that it really benefits us all with communication- It will allow Sean to "talk" to us before he is ready to use words.

That's about all I have right now. I will post anything else I think of in about 2 weeks when I give the updated height and weight stats and post our family photos!

Life as it is these days....

A lot has been going on here in the Reed household! Our sweet baby boy has been getting so big, is growing more hair, and has gotten his first teeth in! His two bottom teeth are making their way out- not enough to capture a good picture yet, but enough to make you think twice about letting him chew on your fingers!! Mike went offshore, finally, and will hopefully be out for a long hitch this time. Not because we don't want him here, of course, but because funds have become super tight and we really need the income to get us back to where we are comfortable again. He's been gone 5 days now, and Sean and I both miss him like crazy. But he is on a good job- one of his company's boats is being leased out to BP to provide food and housing for guys working on the oil spill- no diving involved, but Mike is out there as a medic (DMT). So he gets to hang out, doing grunt work, reading books, etc. and be available in case someone gets hurt or needs to be checked out.

When Daddy is offshore, or working in the shop during the week, Sean and I have established a pretty decent routine (as much as we can, at least, considering how unpredictable babies can be.... once we get used to this schedule, I'm sure it will change again LOL!) Sean typically sleeps until sometime between 7-8am, with an occasional night waking/feeding sometime between 2-5am. The nights where he sleeps until 7 with no wakings are awesome- I feel like I am getting enough sleep to be a normal, functioning person again! When he wakes, I give him a 4 oz. bottle, then he eats breakfast- this week has been sweet potatoes. I even made some of my own last night from scratch- just baked the potatoes, scooped out the meat, and blended it with formula until it's a consistency he can take. I froze 6 containers, and saved one in the fridge for this morning. After breakfast is usually Sean's "quiet time," meaning I put him in the playpen and he plays by himself very contently for 20-40 minutes, depending on his mood, while I make coffee, take the dogs outside, etc. He usually takes another 4 oz bottle at some point after breakfast as well, and then we play until naptime. After Sean has been awake 1.5-2 hours, he is ready for his first "nigh-night," aka nap. I have been trying to catch him before he gets too fussy, so we can go into his room and read a book before putting him down in his crib. Sometimes he fusses in his crib for a few minutes (usually less than 5 minutes) and then is asleep for anywhere between 1-2 hours (on fussy days, he may only sleep 30 minutes!) He is eating every 3-4 hours, so whenever he wakes is usually time to eat again (anywhere from 10am-12pm). He takes a 6-8 oz bottle, and then we have playtime. We play on the blanket in the living room, or in the exersaucer that we are borrowing from Bec and Rob, or whatever else we can find for fun. Again, after about 2 hours of wake time, Sean is ready for his second nap. If any errands need to be run, I try to make it right after his first or second nap of the day (after he eats if it's close to that time) because his third nap of the day usually falls sometime around 4ish. After this third nap, we have a pretty set in stone routine- solid food for dinner sometime between 5-6pm (lately it's been homemade peas!) then a 4-6oz bottle. At 7ish, we go for a walk in the neighborhood- at this time the sun is down enough I don't have to worry about sunscreen or covering every inch of his body with clothing, and it has usually cooled down enough that I can walk a good 0.5-1 mile with him in the stroller. If it's a longer walk, Sean usually falls asleep before we get home and gets a mini cat nap in before bedtime. Bathtime is around 7:30, then we lotion up, put on jammies, say good night to Daddy (We have a picture in a frame for when he is offshore) and get ready for "nigh-night." If he is in a good mood, I can usually sneak a story in before bedtime. But on fussy nights, or on days where his previous feeding is nearing the 3-hours-ago mark, we just turn off the light and he takes his 4-6 oz bottle while I sing our bedtime song. He is usually asleep around 8pm.

This is pretty standard, but notice I didn't include times until the nighttime routine begins at dinner. That's because on days where Sean wakes at 6:30 or 7, the schedule varies a lot more than the times he wakes at 8. And on the days where he thinks that 30 minute naps are sufficient, the times vary there as well (he is fussier, therefore hungry sooner, and sometimes takes 4 or 5 naps on those days). My routines are solely based on how his day is going- they only thing I do pretty regularly is wash bottles and get 4 of them prepared for the rest of day during his first nap. Other than that, I do what I can when I can : ) Our weekends are a little hectic too- we like to visit friends, swim in their pools, go to BBQ's, festivals, etc. So naps, eating, and everything else revolve around whatever is going on. But we are pretty good about coming home no later than 7:30 so we can start bathtime and all that jazz.

This week has been tough so far- Mike left Saturday morning, and on Sunday afternoon I threw my back out. Of course I was freaking out initially- I literally could not stand up from sitting, let alone walk or bend over or pick up a 15 lb. baby. I was soooo upset, we absolutely could not afford for Mike to miss this job opportunity, but I was unable to care for my baby alone!! Luckily, I have the greatest group of friends down here, and they were more than happy to help me out through the rough first few days. I literally had to wake Angelo and Josh up to pick Sean up out of the crib and move him to my arms while sitting, or whatever destination was best for him. The first day was the worst, but after that I learned how to pick Sean up correctly without re-injuring myself. Katie came over to my house those first few days and helped me to care for Sean during the day, she also drove me to the doctor, and helped me tidy the house, do laundry, clean bottles, etc. I could not ask for a better situation here, with Mike being gone it is so reassuring to know that my "family" down here is there for me when I need them!

Now I am looking forward to the upcoming visit from Gma3!! Angie is driving over from Austin to stay with us, starting July 3rd. Not sure what Independence Day events we will attend, but I know she is looking forward to hanging out with her grandson!

Our Baby is 4 months!

Our little man is getting so big!! We went to the pediatrician today for Sean's 4 month well-baby visit, and he is doing great! He is 14 lbs 14 oz and 25 inches long, which is about the 50-55% for both height and weight. The doctor says he looks healthy and happy and to keep doing what we are doing, so that is great to hear : )

At four months, Sean can hold his head up very well- he doesn't do the bobble head thing as much, unless he is really excited or really tired. He hates tummy time, but I am trying to get him to do it at least a few minutes each day- he can do it so well when he has enrgy and is in a good mood, but when he is sleepy or cranky he just gives up and puts his face into the floor : ( I am trying to not let it bother me- he will get stronger and enjoy it more as he is ready. He has rolled over a few times from his belly to his back, but there is no pattern to when he remembers how to do it, and sometimes he forgets.

He knows who Mommy and Daddy are pretty well now, and likes to watch us when he is sitting as we walk across the room, or have conversations with other people. He is a very smiley and happy boy and loves to be social and coo at people.

We recently started sleep training him and it has been going very well. I was putting him down drowsy but not asleep, giving him kisses and telling him I love him, then letting him either fall asleep or fuss a bit if he needs to. The very first time he cried for about an hour- I checked on him several times, gave him his paci and played his crib music but would not pick him up. After a few naps, he fussed less and less, and sometimes not at all! It has been a little over a week now, and sometimes he still fusses, but it's rarely more than 20 minutes, and more times than not he just rolls to one side and soothes himself to sleep with no crying at all. Especially at bedtime- he does love to sleep! He has gotten into a pretty regular pattern over the last week of going to bed around 8pm, sleeping until sometime between 2am and 4am, then sleeping until sometime between 6am and 8am, and then he is up for the morning.

Sean generally naps 3-4 times a day, and has about 5-6 bottles a day. This boy likes to eat! He is up to 5-6 oz in each bottle. Unfortunately I had to start giving more formula than breastmilk- we tried solely nursing for 3 days straight, to get him to relax and be patient enough to wait for my letdown, and also for my supply to increase to meet his needs. But it kept getting worse and worse, and unfortunately I couldn't take it anymore and gave him a bottle again. It is too hot here to risk him becoming dehydrated, and it was so hard to listen to him crying when I knew all he wanted was to eat. It took some time, but I have finally become at peace with my decision to give him mostly formula during the day, and I am still breastfeeding for his after-midnight feeding (when he is sleepy and more patient) and also for his first feeding of the day.

His doctor gave the ok to start on rice cereal, and to transition into solids as he becomes more ready. We tried rice cereal for the first time tonight! At first he didn't like it and got really frustrated. Then I decided to give him his bottle first, since he was so hungry and impatient, and tried the rice cereal again after his bottle, and he did much better swallowing and enjoying it. After 1-2 weeks we will see how he is doing, and then we will start on some veggies! I am so excited because my friend Katie bought a food processor and a baby cookbook, so we will start making our own baby food and freezing it! Hopefully this encourages me to eat healthier too- I figure if I make sweet potatoes for Sean, he can't possibly eat an entire potato to himself, so I will have to eat the rest of it. It will encourage me to eat more veggies : )

Here is Sean enjoying his first try at solids! Mmm rice cereal!

I tried to upload more pictures, but our internet is being slow so this was all I was able to upload. I will try to update again sooner next time.

Here is Sean in his big-boy stroller- no more infant carrier up top! Now he can see what is going on when we take walks!

Here is Sean with his buddies Luke (almost 5 mo.) and Tristhian (about 1 mo.)

Here we are hanging out at Katie's pool- he is starting to like it better than last time!