**In light of the progress I have been making while I've been in therapy sessions for my anxiety and depression, I decided I am going to hit "publish" on this incomplete entry that I wrote WAY back in January. I think it is symbolic of and telling of the struggles I have encountered recently. Perfectionism is not something lighthearted for me- it is a crippling tendency that I am trying to detach from as it is rarely helpful for me! This is a personal experience and I know that not everyone can relate. But I am trying to relinquish the power these tendencies have had over me in the past and as Elsa would say, "Let it go, let it go!"
So here you go. A perfectly imperfect (and incomplete) entry from the beginning of 2017. I am sure I didn't finish it because I either A. ran out of the "right" words to say, or B. couldn't find the "perfect" time to get it done. Procrastination is one of my biggest enemies!!
January 11th, 2017
I've been posting to this blog pretty much since I officially became an adult... I think I started right around the time I got married. This blog has seen me through thick and thin, through so many different chapters of my life.
Lately I have been missing my blogging. Online journaling is a perfect outlet for me- I love to write my thoughts and emotions as a way to process them, and honestly my life is a pretty open book and I will share *almost* anything about myself to anyone ;)
Lately my eyes have been opened to something I have always struggled with, but it has been especially crippling lately.... perfectionism. Have you heard of it?
Perfectionism is not just someone who likes things neat and tidy, or having organizational skills, or having your things always in the right place all of the time. If this were true then I would not be "struggling" with perfectionism, because those things sound so nice! But my things are never neat and tidy, I am not really great with organizational skills, and I wish I could say all of my things are in the right place all of the time but the truth is that they rarely are. I guess that is why I struggle with perfectionism- I am constantly striving for this impossible perfection. I strive for it so hard that it is crippling, and often the opposite happens- my life turns into a giant mess of disorganization.
